|One to beam up|
Saturday, 8 October 2011
Thursday, 29 September 2011
|Sucks on and off the screen|
Wednesday, 28 September 2011
|$2.99? That's how much you're going to pay me to read this, right?|
I mean sure, they clearly clad him in an edgy new uniform and gave him new powers, but unless those gun-hands shoot candy into my lap or his new powers allow him to transform into someone more interesting I'll skip this title and just cram a stick in my eye, but thanks anyway!
|OK Stallone, put the script down...|
You know, there are so many ways to screw up this movie, but who cares, I'm throwing caution to the wind and letting the geek flag fly! This is sweeter than Umpty Candy, more exciting than Boing, and as invigorating as a freshly cut Stookie gland, and Grud willing this will be the stomm!
If you can't understand a word of this, and unless you're a 35 year old virgin you can't, click here and here.
|Where do I put this? Do you really want to know lawbreaker!?|
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
Had you told me just a few hours ago that Anne Hathaway in a Catwoman suit would have boner-shrinking properties I would have punched you in your mouth. Punched you good! And yet one glance at the above pic and I stand corrected. Remember when this was the worst Catwoman you'd ever seen?
Yeah. I know. I never thought I'd be looking at that with feelings of nostalgia. My God, I miss Eartha Kitt so much right now that I'm actually considering downloading Boomerang for masturbation purposes. Seriously. Just to prove to myself that I can still get a hard on. How difficult is it to dress Hathaway here in black leather and make it sexy, this shit ain't calculus!
|Keep your eyes closed, there may be a mirror around and you don't want to see how you look|
Monday, 26 September 2011
|Back when musicians actually played instruments|
What's also impressive is that a band that looks like the science department from a Jr College managed to achieve mainstream success. But, despite their "widespread appeal" they have finally decided to call it quits for what I'm assuming is to spend more time with their grand kids. When approached for a comment the president of their fan club was heard saying "The nurses are stealing my meds!"
If there's one thing that I instinctively understand it's gotta be Power Girl. How on Earth-2 can we not get a movie about this dame green lit? It's like every time I watch a movie trailer Morgan Freeman is either narrating or starring in it. Don't get me wrong, he's talented and all but come on, can't he just sit one out and let the studio devote a little time to Kara Zor-L? Here's what she looks like by the way:
You see what I'm saying right? She makes Wonder Woman look Maggie Gyllenhaal, who is so ugly that she makes Jake Gyllenhaal look like Jamie Chung. Who thought that chick would be good enough for Bruce Wayne anyway? But I digress. Hollywood, could you please take a few moments from rehashing and gang raping the entertainment from my youth to have a meeting regarding this? You won't?! Then screw you!
|My eyes are right here|