Cram It Shanghai, Cram It Wherever You Cram Things!

Men of Shanghai, if I ever hear about how much your commute sucks I'm going have you beaten on your kidneys with taffy mallets until you piss blood.  The only thing I have worth looking at on my train to work is when the local celebrity who has two big toes on each foot wears sandals and the occasional girl who is risque enough to show her ankles.  Living in Singapore is like being surrounded by Asian Amish folk.
 
The worst part of this whole thing is that there's actually people outraged in Shanghai about a girl changing clothes on their subway.  Re-read that last sentence.  I KNOW, RIGHT!?  I'm outraged too!  Outraged that she didn't get completely naked or at the very least wear thong instead of the gigantic grandma underwear that seems so popular among ladies of all ages out here.

As you enter the train, mind the gap 

And these aren't regular women, they're Asian women.  The greatest women in the world.  If this were in Greece somewhere I could understand the problem, those chicks look like wookies with hamburger for faces, but this is an exotic dame of the Orient in with a BJPT* and 8 inch heals!!!  Needless to say I'm not so scandalized to ask for a transfer to there.

Dude, who are you texting?


*Blow job ponytails