New Teen Titans Character is Gay. Also, Water is Wet.

Dude, you know what would get my attention?  The Teen Titans having a straight character.  You're trying to tell me that this crew has one, just one, member who actually is attracted to the opposite sex, because I don't know what the international rules are for calling 'bullshit', but I call it!  However, you be the judge, here's the team before they claim a gay dude joined:



Pictured: Three dollar bill

 I thought that was an Indigo Girls album when I first saw it.  Are you really tying to tell me that Aqua-lad has never taken a cock, because I'm pretty sure if they made dick flavoured ice cream he'd be on the package saying "Now with more nuts!"  If they couldn't be the plot for a gay porn then I've never stroked off to Power Girl.  And yet you may say "But maybe you're being a bit harsh, that intensely festive picture proves nothing."  Yeah, ok, fine.  Take a look at this and then shut up:

Working Title: "Teen Tight-Ins"

"Ah," you continue "I see your point, and that's all very well and good but that's not all the members.  You've forgotten about Cyborg.  What about Cyborg?"  Cyborg, really?  You're really bringing up Cyborg.  You mean this guy, right?

Hot Stuff, Coming Through!

The big buff black dude wearing a cleavage enhancing shiny tank top with matching speedo and silver thigh-high fuck me boots?  This guy makes prostitutes in Vegas look subtle. The only thing I know about Cyborg is that in the Teen Titans he's probably the only guy who isn't a bottom. 

And don't get me wrong here, what two spandex clad heroes consensually do to one another behind closed doors after protecting the city is none of my business.  Hell, I actually own Bunka from Oakenfold so I've got nothing against homosexuals, just don't try and tell me that a gay guy hanging out with Robin and Arsenal is something so out of the ordinary that we should take notice.  But whatever, it's a slow news day, so let's all welcome Bunker, the 'new' gay character in the Teen Titans, and I hope his powers include shooting rainbows from his eyes or transforming into a unicorn, because if they are he'll still be the manliest member right after Raven.