Stealing cookies from a pregnant lady

Yeah, I know it sounds bad but is it really?  Probably, but if it was so terrible I figure God would have stopped me, and since he didn't I don't see how it's not sanctioned by the Catholic church itself, so take it up with Pope Knowitall, fart-face.  But to be honest I recognize that that argument only goes so far, so before you judge me here's a few facts to better gauge the depth of my depravity:
1. The box they're kept in is see-through.
2. There are so many of them that the number can only be described as profane.
3. There's no lock on the box.
4. I like cookies.
My office is completely desserted now since school is out and everyone is either on break or at a meeting and I've been alone with a box full of cookies without partaking for quite some time.  I didn't steal cookies from the box mostly because I was laboring under a delusion that doing so would be wrong because stealing is wrong, but if that's true that we shouldn't graze at the grape section of a supermarket and that's the most victimless crime of them all.
However, with the theft issue out of the way I also have to contend that I was filching cookies from a pregnant lady, which is a pretty low place to be in any culture.  BUT... on the other hand by not stealing the cookies I was treating my co-worker differently BECAUSE she was pregnant, and that's called discrimination and it's against the law so technically, by stealing the cookies I'm a hero.  And besides, who puts cookies in a see through box!  See through!  It's like wearing a miniskirt to a Nascar event, in both cases you're just asking someone to sneak a grab at your cookies. 
And grab them I did. 
And come to think of it she's been gone for days now which could mean she's already given birth in which case she doesn't need the cookies as much anymore since miss 'I'm eating for two' is now eating for one again.  Or maybe it was three, I mean twins are possible, but what am I a Epidemiologist?  How should  I know.  What I do know is this:
1. I have the iron will necessary to steal sweets from an expectant mother.
2. I clearly don't believe in karma.
3. I don't show favoritism in the workplace.
4. Judging me only shows how bad you are.
By my count that's 3 to 0 in favor of me and the karma point being a wash.  So send me your milk, I still have quite a few left.